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This Was Not Addressed In The Workplace…
By Dan Reinhold
So you're working at home now! No more of those
annoying workplace issues that have filled several volumes of
professional journals. They're all behind you, a faint, unpleasant
memory. Of course, working at home has no such…challenges?
No one looks over your shoulder. No one monitors
your output from afar. ( I was looking for the way out of that
website…really!!) No warnings or veiled threats about too
much time at the water cooler. BUT…
There is one issue, one factor, one paradigm, one
contingency, one concern never addressed, nay, not present in
that organizational outhouse.
Its destructive influence has been well recorded,
yet they continue to be commonplace. They are not found in the
corporate world because of the dangers inherent in their continued
presence. Volatile, unpredictable and thoroughly incomprehensible,
they are the greatest challenge of working in your home and they're
always there!!
Among many names bestowed upon them (some less than
complimentary) throughout recorded time, they are known to us
as…children.
Of all the horrors imaginable, they are the worst
because their
minds hold only one thought: You're home.
What project, with looming deadline, impossible
demands and
voracious time-consuming appetite, ever frustrated your best
efforts more than a five-year-old opening your door punctually
every four and one quarter minutes to announce, "I wanna
_________?"
Do you ever recall conversations of this kind during
a
performance review?
"Milquetoast, we are in agreement, then, then
your primary goal for the next quarter is to successfully address
the concern of little Jennie's incessant attention-getting behavior
as well as Montague's single-handed defacement or demolition of
several pieces of valuable furnishings and pets?"
As I sat writing today, I was visited by my youngest
son, Nicholas. He is three years old and will turn fifteen in
June. Having left my door ajar while he played in the next room
(" And about your child emergency reaction time, Milquetoast…"),
he appeared beside me with an air of quiet resolve that would
have made Churchill shudder, several books held tightly in his
arms.
Fixing me with a steady gaze, he firmly stated,
"Read to me." My first reaction was the SOP for child
demands as written in the official Parents' Manual. "I can't
read to you now, Nicky. Daddy's working." He is a highly
intelligent and perceptive young fellow who could plainly see
that his father was poking at the computer keyboard (as he has
done) while wearing old jean shorts and sipping lemonade. It was
perfectly obvious to him that I was not working. He then replied
with the SOP for Parent Refusal of Demand as written in the official
Children's Manual.
He raised the volume. "Read to ME!" By
this time, my poking had stopped and my lemonade was becoming
warm and watery. As the exchange escalated (parental authority
– stubborn demand – parental bargaining – stubborn
demand – parental pleading – stubborn demand…),
the true underlying objective was achieved. My productivity had
been shot to pieces. After this episode had concluded ( you know,
that Dr. Seuss was a very succinct expository writer), I realized
how ill-prepared I'd been by the corporate world for such encounters.
When my oldest boy was little, I worked in an office in a big
city an hour's commute away. Working at home has proven to be
very different in many respects than working away from home.
I wonder if there are any professional journals
about this sort of
thing?
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With two boys, a dog, a cat, a wife and a household to keep
together to boot, Dan Reinhold is the editor of WAHumor to hang
on to his sanity by showing how insane the work-at-home
community can be. Work at home? You deserve a laugh!
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